velvet love
Entry one - 2021
Love to me is something euphoric, soft and gentle, tender and warm like velvet.
To speak about such a broad subject is a difficult thing to do, however I find that love really does change your life, whether this is growing your own self love or learning about love through someone else. When you think that you love something or someone it really does show a raw version of yourself, a vulnerable individual. This vulnerability that I speak about is something many people fear when going into a relationship, It opens them up to potentially get hurt. Although this is a fear, I do think that getting hurt is a pivotal point in life, it changes your perspective of not only yourself but others around you - it allows you to work on who you are and how you treat others.
I find love to be something in my life that is incredibly important, whether that is platonic love, being in-love or self love. It brings a somewhat idyllic and dream like state to my life - something that is completely disconnected from the rest of the world. With modern relationships, they are very characterised by how we portray ourselves online and an unrealistic idea of who we really are as people. Love can be dangerous, like stepping in deep water - you never really know how deep it may take you, I think this brings such excitement.
I want velvet love to remind people how important it is to love one another, and to treat yourself with kindness. I find that self love is something I’ve grown incredible fond of, something I personally have been working on for many years - it’s a tough concept, but one of growth.
I was in a long and healthy relationship for many years with someone who I very much adored, and still do to this day - it’s like an addiction being with another human. You indulge in all of their greatest strengths as well as living through their weakness’ - it is most definitely a learning curve, a beautiful one tho. Sometimes when leaving such a healthy situation, it’s confusing why you have to be apart; sometimes growing yourself has to take the upmost importance. I have also experienced unhealthy situations, which are almost just as difficult. But just remember that if they held your heart, it did originally belong to you.
Entry two - 2023
I have found myself in many interesting positions this year, my judgment of character has been off - and that's okay, just another learning curve. I have surrounded myself with those who don't have my best interest, with me for the short thrill and not for genuine reasons. It has taught me a lot about myself and how I react in different situations, and to not accept what's in-front of me until it's something that I want to indulge myself in. It's easy for life to cloud your judgement of people, maybe you're in a bad place yourself and looking for company rather than really being able to give your whole self to someone. If you're not ready for love, then focus in on yourself and really zoom in on the little parts of life that fulfil you, because of course its important to be in touch with yourself before bringing anyone else in the mix - however I have learnt that if someone loves your weakness' just as much as your strengths then they're someone who you should keep around.
ENTRY 3 - falling for the little things
I have been trying to fall in-love with life at the moment, all the little things that make you feel full. Listening to your favourite song or even listening to the birds in the morning. The peaks of the mountains seeping through the sunlight and the little laughs from people you'll probably never know. I have been letting the world guide me through the last couple of months to who I'm supposed to be surrounding myself with. I have been leaning into the string theory, that the world will always have you connected to who you're meant to be around, and the string will keep pulling you closer and closer together, even if you are leading completely separate lives. Trust yourself and your instincts and don't lean into something that takes your energy, rather than building it.